Sunday, August 7, 2011

Conversations with ME, MYSELF, and I

Wow, time is flying by and I'm finding it hard to keep up with my blogging.   My last entry documented my triumphant handstand.  Who knew that my loyal blogger "friends" would question this feat by asking me to produce a picture of it.  Uhhh, so now I have to work on a one handed, handstand so that I can take a pic to prove it.   Seriously, I'm working on the proof.  .....to be continued

The recent data and details look like this:
July 18th - 39 miles running, 16 miles biking, 2 miles walking, 2 yoga sessions, 4 days of Supreme 90 day
long was 14 - ended up running a split run - 11 miles am and 3 miles pm
July 25th - 43 miles running, 20 miles biking (not sure but I think this is a record bike wk for me - lol), 4 miles walking, 1 yoga class, 6 days of Supreme 90 day
long run this wk - 16 @ 9:50 avg pace
tempo - 6 miles total - 1 mile w/u, 4 @ 8:27 avg, 1 mile c/d  (slower than my typical tempo)

Aug. 1st - 30 miles running, 10 miles biking, 7.5 mile walk, 1 yoga class, and 6 days of Supreme 90 day
this is a step back week in total mileage for the week, and a step back in my long run for the week which was 10 miles.  I also planned my long to be in South LA to give me a break from the hills this week.
long run - 10 miles @ 9:05 avg.  The plan was a progression run.  
2 mile w/u - 9:50, 9:29, 
4 miles at 9:00 PLANNED - actual - 8:57, 8:51, 8:58, 8:56
4 miles at 8:45 (MRP- marathon race pace) PLANNED or wished for - actual - 8:49, 8:44.  I bailed on the 8:45 plan and ran the last 2 a little slower than planned.  9:00 and 9:12.  At this early point in my training, AND in the August heat, I decided I wouldn't push the issue.  I was struggling.  I haven't started a training plan yet.  I have been running some quality runs, and I'm upping my weekly mileage, but I'm not on a formal training plan yet.  My goal is to get to Tupelo26.2 with enough distance running to "cover the distance." (NO racing for this one)  Then after Tupelo I will have a recovery week and then start my real quality training for the fall.  

As I bailed on the pace for the last 2, these are the thoughts that go through my mind:

Conversations with ME, MYSELF, and I

*it's only 4 miles at MRP (marathon race pace), come on, you can run 4 @ RP (race pace)
*it's really HOT, it's smart to shut it down (heat index was in the 90s)
*some of the "better" runners, better runner/bloggers would NOT bail on these last 2
*yeah but, most of those runners are in the 20 and 30s, although you try hard to forget it, you ARE in your 40s
*yeah but, you are not trying to run their pace, you are running your plan and you gave up on the plan
*your age has nothing to do with not being able to run 2 more miles at 8:45, heat MAY be a factor, but age.... you can't use that one here...
*this is a mental break - you still have work to do on the mental part - seriously, when will you conquer this mental part of your running. 
*you are "listening to your body" and this is always a wise choice
*if you can't run 4 @ MRP, how will you EVER run 26.2 again at MRP?  seriously!
*you haven't been doing any MRP running yet, today is the first day.  It's totally fine to start here, and move forward.

so in some ways I'm totally fine with where I'm at, adjusting my plan to accommodate the day, but in other ways, I feel I cave, and then justify.  Some of the reasons are valid reasons, BUT.....

Some of the type B and C runners will think I'm "too hard" on myself, some will say "she's crazy."  Then there's the type A runners.  They will say, suck it up buttercup, stop justifying bailing on the plan.   In the end, it really doesn't matter what either side says, FOR ME, it's figuring out what is the real true FACT, not feeling.  It seems that:
*the me in me - seems to think I'm smart and altering the plan is a very smart thing to do
*the myself in me - seems to think I have too many mental cave-in's.  I need MORE "fight to the finish"
and 
*the I in me - thinks BOTH sides have very valid points.

One of my biggest joys in running is my hard run, or technical days.  The joy comes from having a plan, implementing the plan, and COMPLETING the plan on or very near the target.  It gives me a HUGE sense of SATISFACTION.  It completes my run, and in many ways, if I'm being honest, it completes me.  Yes, dorky to many of you who have "real lives", but this is MY PASSION.  The technical part of running is what gives me a HIGH.  Many runners run just for the joy of running.  While I do enjoy my easy days, the "hitting my numbers" on hard days is what keeps me in the game these days.
(no - I wasn't always like this)

So all of the sides of ME just leave me confused, but determined to work on the weakness - the MENTAL me.

RECENT RUNNING SCENES in MS and LA
a steamy start  (#RunMS)

  a beautiful sunrise  (#RunMS)
honey, I want one of these (#RunLA)
or one of these (#RunLA)
#FlowerMS

12 comments:

mfranks said...

Lately I'm not very negative, but I used to have a lot of conversations in my mind about quitting.

Usually went something like: OMG, this sucks so bad, I'm stopping...
my chest hurts....why am I doing this?...I could be...ASLEEP RIGHT NOW.

Good luck in Tupelo. Some of my friends are running the 14.2 miler. Should be interesting...

HappyTrails said...

Ok, refresh our memories as to what the Supreme 90 thingy is??? Just make sure that when you are having conversations back and forth with yourself (which we all do, whether we are on the Non-Plan Plan or the Technical Ginny Regimen) that your stronger voice reminds you to keep going hard because you will be disappointed if you stop. You can do it! Also, we are waiting for that handstand photo...... :-)

Happy Feet 26.2 said...

Supreme 90 day is a cheap version of P90X. it's fast paced dumbbell weight workouts, about 10 different dvds rotating each day. You can buy it at Bed, Bath & Beyond, Target, Walmart. ($20.00 - it's a bargain)

Jennifer said...

You have so much drive you could fuel a NASCAR race! You always inspire me, when I am trying to talk myself into something I ask, "What would Ginny do?" Go for it, is always the answer.

See you Tuesday!

Tri-James said...

Rule number 1: Have a plan.

Rule number 2: Be willing to alter the plan.

Robbie said...

Great report! I'm glad to know I'm not the only one that talks to myself like "that"....quit wimping out, suck it up, quit whining, it's too hot/humid, stick to the plan, go by how your body feels, push a little harder, sit this one out, etc., etc., etc. I love that you are NORMAL!!! Love ya!

Ana-Maria RunTriLive said...

It is really hard to run in the heat and humidity. You are right, in cooler temps it would be much easier to run the same pace. The trouble is that the body needs the faster paces to adapt...this is what I tell myself when I feel like melting...ha. Something I am working on when things get tough is to just accept the pain without judging. In training I always tell myself that I can stop if things get really bad, so lets see how bad they can get. I think the brain habituates to pain and suffering, heck I am counting on that:)

Jill said...

Hey girl -
Love your conversations...I think we all have them and I know I have no plan whatsoever and still make deals with myself. You deal with some of the worst weather in the summer, totally BA runner chick you are! Me, if it's above 75 degrees for the start of a run, I'm in my basement running on the treadmill :).

Keep up the awesome work, you are getting stronger by the second!!!

lindsay said...

I have had similar conversations with myself and I have bailed on speed work - so you're totally normal :)

As for the handstand - it's called a self-timer or your husband. This is why you got married ... To take photos of you for the blog of course!

Jenn said...

OK-I have been way out of the blogging loop as of late. I have seasons of mojo when it comes to this it seems....

I loved the Conversations with Me, Myself, and I. Loved that you put these thoughts out there. I have had MANY MANY similar conversations. At times I feel mentally STRONG, unbeatable....Other times, I feel so mentally WEAK...This heat and humidity has surely brought out some of my weaknesses as of late.....

This technical part of training. I have always dreaded the speed, always argued to myself that it didn't make running fun for me, I just wanted to "enjoy" running, yada, yada, yada.....I would bail on a training plan for my own plan and for awhile, this seemed to work for me. I'm realizing more and more lately that I don't find the same enjoyment in just running anymore. I find the satisfaction in having a specific goal in training and reaching it. Even though the speed is tough for me, I am starting to enjoy it a bit more because of the rush I feel from completely the workout that is written on my plan.

OK-this is long. I really enjoyed this post. Thanks for sharing your thoughts AND your training. You are so determined to better yourself. It's so dang inspiring!

Jess A @cajunrunnerjess said...

Great job on your runs and workouts!

Anonymous said...

Very interesting points. Thanks!

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